How to Support Your Team Through the Holidays When Not Everyone Is Celebrating

Are the holidays easy for everyone on your team?

You probably already know the answer. Someone has been a little quieter since October. Someone else just had their first Thanksgiving without a parent. And you have no idea what most of your people go home to at 5 p.m.

This post is for whoever decides how an organization takes care of its people: the founder, the CEO, the head of school, the executive director, the HR lead, the senior pastor, and the managers they lead.

Your people take care of everyone else. Who takes care of them?

Supporting employees through holiday stress, grief or loneliness doesn't take a program or a policy. It starts with a few honest moves before Thanksgiving. Below are four of them, with words you can borrow.

What Does the Holiday Season Actually Feel Like for Your Team?

For a lot of people, heavier than it looks.

In a survey of 1,000 full-time U.S. employees, 57% said the holidays are the most mentally draining time of year. 66% felt pressure to overspend, and 52% said they feel lonelier or more isolated than usual during the holidays (Modern Health, 2025).

The same survey found that nearly two-thirds of employees feel pressure to appear cheerful even when they're struggling, and 53% say that expectation makes their mental health worse. And 40% said they had considered quitting because of holiday burnout or dread about returning to work.

So many of your people walk in this month with something on their mind, and most won't mention it. That isn't because they don't trust you. It's because this is supposed to be the happy season, and nobody wants to be the one who brings the mood down.

We know you care, but you can't sit beside every one of your people. Some things never get said at work, and the holidays are when they get said least.

Why Does December Make Everything Heavier?

The holidays don't usually create new pain. They turn up the volume on what's already there.

• For someone in their first year after a loss, the holiday table has an empty chair.
• For someone whose family is complicated, every "Who are you seeing for the holidays?" is a hard question.
• For someone living alone or far from home, a season built around togetherness can feel lonely.
• For someone watching their budget closely, every gift exchange and team dinner is quiet math.

None of this means your team is in crisis. It's a normal human reality, and you get to acknowledge it. That difference matters.

If someone on your team shows signs of something heavier, like changes in sleep, pulling away from people, or low mood that won't lift, encourage them to talk with their doctor or a licensed professional. What you do as a leader sits beside that care. It doesn't replace it.

If someone is in immediate danger, call emergency services. In the U.S., anyone can call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

What Does It Look Like When It Goes Badly?

Imagine it's the week before Thanksgiving. You send an all-staff email: "Excited to celebrate with everyone at the holiday party Thursday! This team has so much to be grateful for!"

Now imagine someone on your team who lost a parent this summer. They read that email and think, "I have to go smile for two hours." They go. They smile. They leave early, and nobody notices.

Nothing in your email was wrong. But nothing in it said: I know this season isn't easy for everyone, and that's okay here.

When cheer feels required, the people who are already dealing with the most pay the highest price to keep up appearances.

What Does It Look Like When It Goes Well?

Same week. Same party. But before the email goes out, you stop by that person's desk:

Thirty seconds. You didn't fix anything, and you didn't ask them to talk about their grief in the hallway. You just let them know they were seen.

Here are four moves that work the same way.

1. Send One Honest Note

Before your holiday all-staff message goes out, add one sentence that makes room for people who aren't celebrating:

That one sentence does more than the rest of the email.

2. Offer Flexibility in the Busiest Weeks

If you can let people leave an hour early, start late or swap a shift in the week before a holiday, offer it without a formal process:

The offer itself tells people you thought about them.

3. Make the Celebrations Truly Optional

Say it out loud, not in a footnote:

People who want to be there will come. People who need to be home can go home without feeling like they let the team down.

4. Have One Real Conversation

Pick one person who has been a little quieter than usual. Not to counsel them or fix anything. Just to ask:

Then stop talking and listen. Those five minutes will mean more than the holiday card everyone signed. If they tell you they're not okay, here's what to say in the first minute.

What's Behind These Four Moves?

Each move protects something people need to get through a heavy season well.

At Forte, our Coaches use Mental Fitness training built on four domains. You don't need the vocabulary to make these moves, but here's how they line up:

What Can You Actually Say Out Loud?

Leaders ask this a lot. Here are three lines that land, word for word:

None of these need training, and none of them need you to be a counselor. They just need you to mean them.

For more ideas, try these check-in questions to ask your team.

Who Do Your People Talk To When It's Not You?

You can make all four moves and still not reach everyone. Some people won't open up to a manager, no matter how kind that manager is. That's not a failure on your part. Some things never get said at work.

That's why Forte gives every one of your people their own Forte Coach, a real person outside work who's with them for all of it, the hard weeks and the good ones, the holidays included.

Everything lives in one app. They pick a time, their Coach calls them, and exercises keep them growing between calls. Members can connect with their Coach as early as the next day, and they can keep the same Coach or switch any time (Forte Coaches). Sessions are confidential, and you see only anonymized, organization-wide trends. You can see how Forte works step by step.

As one Forte Member put it: "I'm very thankful to have a confidential person I can talk to."

You become a place where everyone has someone in their corner. So your people feel as cared for as the people they care for.